- RELATIONAL TIP by LISA MERLO BOOTH (my mentor) c:2018

Life is much easier when you learn to assume good intentions. This piece of wisdom as been around for years, yet few people have subscribed to it or mastered it. Mastering it can change things in your life.

Imagine how one mistake can lead to drastically different outcomes based on your assumptions. For example, your partner forgets to bring home the milk and you tell yourself:

  • S/he never listens to a word I say!

  • S/he is like a child and only thinks about him/herself!

  • S/he is so utterly irresponsible it’s infuriating!

  • S/he is so happy to be dome with work and can’t wait to get home to me.

  • We all make mistakes—no big deal.

The things about stories is, it doesn’t matter whether or not what you’re making up is true.  What matters is how that story is going to impact your life. The story you make up impacts how you feel.  It also impacts relationships, jobs, and the way you maneuver in the world. If you believe people or life is out to get you, then you’re going to be pretty sour on life. If you believe people have good intentions, your life will be easier. The choice is yours.

Don’t ever be tied to your story—no matter how certain you are, (Certainty is a red descriptor and #1 on the Losing Strategies). The truth is you don’t know why someone does what s/he does unless they tell you why. Get out of the heads of others and do the work within your own.

Challenge: Pay attention to the stories you’re making up about what’s going on around you. Notice how the negative stories impact you versus assuming positive intent. Push yourself to assume positive intentions with everyone from children to world leaders. Tell me what you notice.

Hayley Fedders